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I love kissing you, even though we’ve never kissed.
I love when you hold me, even though you never have.
I loved meeting you, even though we’ve never met.
I love going on dates with you, even though you’ve never taken me on one.
I love staying in bed and watching movies with you all day, even though we never had the chance to.
I love lying under the stars with you, even though we never could do that together.
I love when you let me cry on your shoulder, even though your shoulder was never there when I needed it.
I love when you call me baby, even though I’ve never heard you say it.
I love how much you care about me, even though I’ll never be quite sure if you did.
I love how you always listen to me, even though you’ve never had to.
I love how our hands fit together perfectly, even though you’ve never held my hand.
I loved being in love with you, because I really was.

ps. I still am.

-Chloe Pintarch

my biggest fear used to be you leaving me, but now that you have, life seems to be alot easier to live.

apology poem

I was born delicately into this world,
without any knowledge of your existence.
You didn’t know I was on this earth either,
for between us their was a great distance.
I craved attention from all the wrong boys,
I grew dumber as I became older.
They all did me wrong, I should’ve known,
but when I cried, I always had a friends shoulder.
With a hard head full of persistence,
I never gave up.
I grew wiser and more careful,
always kept my guard up.
I stopped worrying about relationships,
focused more on myself.
Found out it was a lot more fun
without the drama of “love,” itself.
I became a lot happier
without lies laced into kissing,
But for some reason,
I felt that something was missing.
I never knew what it was,
until the day you found me.
On February 16th, 2008,
you said “hey sweetie.”
It didn’t occur to me then,
but I’m sure of it now.
You’re the answer to all of my questions,
who, what, when, where, how.
I went from thinking of you a little bit,
only some of the time,
to thinking of you no matter what,
every day, all the time.
There are no words magnificent enough
to explain your significance.
You mean everything to me,
and life with you has made a beautiful difference.
You’ve taught me life lessons
and you probably didn’t know that.
But when I mess up and make you mad,
my heart hurts and jumps like an acrobat.
Without trying it, I sometimes take you for granted,
I make spontaneous decisions that turn into bad mistakes.
And when you let me know how dumb I’m being,
your words hurt, and they are hard to take.
But I know I deserve them,
and that you deserve to be treated better.
I feel so awful and I cry so hard,
my cheeks couldn’t get any wetter.
You’re the most important person in my life,
but I feel like I don’t let you know that enough.
I wish I could take back the stupid things I did,
and show you that you’re my diamond in the ruff.
I could apologize all day,
and I would if I could.
But I’ll just hope that you’ll forgive me,
because “sorry sorry sorry” won’t do me any good.
I hope you know that I can’t live without you,
and I hope you feel the same way.
And I also hope that you’ll always love me,
because in my heart you’ll forever stay.
We’re the two hands whose fingers lace together just right,
we’re the perfect fit, just us two.
I don’t want anyone else in the universe,
because I am irrevocably in love with you.

-Chloe Pintarch